Made for Eternity

From my 2 April entry- baseball’s opening day:

“Besides the first day of spring, this is probably my favorite “lesser” holiday. On this day, the games count. On this day, I am always certain the Phillies will begin their march to their first World Series championship since they won it three weeks before I was born back in ‘80. On this day, “next year” is finally here.”

And amazingly enough, 159 games later, the dream still lives. The Phightins are phinally in phirst – tied with the Mets. And I’m pretty much as nervous as all get out.

It’s a 3-game season now. Go Phils!

A couple days ago, one of the lightbulbs in my “kitchen” blew out. (I put “kitchen” in quotes because, you know, I live in a studio apartment, ergo my “kitchen” is only distinguishable from my “living room”, “dining room”, and “bedroom” by a strip of linoleum.) There was enough light without that bulb, and in my laziness, I didn’t get around to changing it until the next morning.

Boy, what a difference! I hadn’t realized how dark it had been until the new bulb flooded the room with light. And, yeah, I saw the clear spiritual lesson.

Many people don’t realize the deep darkness they are in until the “light of glorious gospel” (2 Corinthians 4:4) floods their hearts. You will only truly see, spiritually speaking, when you have trusted in the Light of the World – Jesus Christ, the Son of God who died on the cross in our place and rose again.

Otherwise, you’ll be like me in my “kitchen” – in the dark, and not knowing how dark it really is.

The speaker at church on Sunday made the above statement. He then continued, and I paraphrase, “I don’t believe in the Tooth Fairy, but I don’t spend all my time forming Anti-Tooth Fairy Organizations and trying to prove she doesn’t exist.”

See, we all have a God consciousness. No one is born an atheist. They have to be taught that there is no God. And even in the most staunch atheist, there is a niggling fear that God exists. So they keep coming up with fallible “reasons” (or actually “sillinesses”, as there is no reason in them) to assuage their hearts and minds.

What does God say about these people?

Romans 1:18-23a ESV

“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.  For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.  Claiming to be wise, they became fools . . .”

Two points here: A). They suppress the truth – they know it is true, they know there’s a God, but they push the facts down. B.) They became fools.(i.e. They aren’t wise.) See also Psalm 14:1.

Conclusion: Atheists are utterly and completely foolish. (Feel free to quote the One True and Living God on that.)

I’m in the midst of putting the finishing touches on my resume (and an accompanying cover letter). It’s not a fun process. I can’t get over that faint uncomfortable sensation that I’m just bragging about myself. Blech. I’ve heard people say something along the lines of “If what you’re putting down is true, than you’re not bragging.”

Riiight. A couple of pages of “Lookit what I’ve done!” in 10.5 font can’t help but feel a little boastful to me. Guess it’s this world we live in, eh?

Onward.

Psalm 94:18-19 ESV

“When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’
your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.
When the cares of my heart are many,
your consolations cheer my soul.”

I have many cares in my heart these days. Cares about school, cares about the afterlife (um, the after-school life, make that, because my afterlife is completely settled), cares about my friends, cares about my family, cares about the people I’m around from day to day.

How true it is that God’s consolations comfort my heart. He reminds that he’s God, and I’m not. He reminds that he’s sovereign and I’m not. He reminds me that he loves me more than anyone else in the universe does. He reminds me that that steadfast love of his will hold me up when my feet slip.

And that is a great great comfort.

I read the following on an atheist’s website some time ago. It’s interesting and saddening to see this perspective:

“I always thought that if Christians really believe that I am going to burn eternally because I don’t believe what they do, they should try a little harder to covert me. Could it be that most of them don’t truly believe all this nonsense?”

What can you say to that? We ambassadors aren’t always the best ambassadors.

My little’uns are just that. I ask you, is there anything more wonderful than having a four year old boy look up at you with bright shining eyes and absolutely butcher your name?

“Mih Marrnin [translated: Miss Morrison], please help me,” he said, and my heart melted a little. In fact, I’m surprised I have any intact heart left, what with all these delightful and diverse small people I have the privilege of working with these days. They do tend to get to you.

Onward.

Comfort from Hosea. Hosea? Yes, Hosea. Even as he proclaims judgment on their rebellion, God also proclaims his tender love towards his forever-chosen people, Israel.

Hosea 11:8-9

How can I give you up, O Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, O Israel?
How can I make you like Admah?
How can I treat you like Zeboiim?
My heart recoils within me;
my compassion grows warm and tender.
I will not execute my burning anger;
I will not again destroy Ephraim;
for I am God and not a man,
the Holy One in your midst,
and I will not come in wrath. 

Emily G. (driving): Can you open the Lifesavers for me?

Me (opening the Lifesavers’ wrapper): Do you ever drive with your knees?

Emily G.: Only if it’s an emergency.

Me: What qualifies as an emergency?

Emily G: Well, if I’m eating a sandwich.

So there you have it, ladies and gents. According to Emily G., Emergency = Eating a Sandwich.

I have emergencies rather frequently.

Onward.

Despite record low outdoor temperatures (and the not significantly warmer  sleeping areas), the retreat in Minnesota this weekend was wonderful.

Some of the most encouraging verses from an amazing time in the Word were these:

1 Corinthians 1:26-31

“For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.'”

Isn’t that just great? The Lord gave this foolish, weak, lowly girl the opportunity to simply be a witness of his grace yesterday at my practicum. It was humbling and joyful all at the same time – to be given the opportunity to speak forth the amazing truth of the Gospel – God’s greatest gift of salvation – is a gift in and of itself.

My teeth.

This is the weather forecast for where I’ll be tomorrow night. At a retreat in northern MN. In unheated cabins.:

“Partly cloudy in the evening then clearing. Widespread frost after midnight. Lows 22 to 27. West winds 10 to 15 mph becoming southwest around 5 mph late. ”

Summer? What’s summer?

Onward.

Another description by God of himself:

Isaiah 45:22-25

“Turn to me and be saved,
all the ends of the earth!
For I am God, and there is no other.
By myself I have sworn;
from my mouth has gone out in righteousness
a word that shall not return:
‘To me every knee shall bow,
every tongue shall swear allegiance.’ 

“Only in the Lord, it shall be said of me,
are righteousness and strength;
to him shall come and be ashamed
all who were incensed against him.                                                                                                                                                       

In the Lord all the offspring of Israel
shall be justified and shall glory.”

Amen.

For me, an average American living hundreds of miles away from New York and D.C., today doesn’t feel as sad as the 6 previous 9/11s have.

For the first time since 2001, this day hasn’t felt burdensome. It hasn’t felt so close to the horror and disbelief and the helpless “where will they hit next” feeling of that Tuesday 6 years ago.

That’s not to say that I’ve forgotten, or didn’t feel an achy twinge when I remembered what day it was as I turned on the radio this morning. It’s also not to say that many others are not still experiencing tremendous grief. When the terrorists struck, they killed nearly 3000 people, but they wounded millions more. They wounded those close to the tragedy extremely deeply, but the shrapnel of those murders also pierced the hearts of Americans and freedom-lovers around the world.

Today I realized that my scars were healing. Though they’ll always be there and the tragic images will be seared into my brain until the day I die, today feels normal.

It’s September 11. Just another ordinary day.

Onward.

How grateful I am that this is my God.

Isaiah 46:9-11 (ESV)

“Remember this and stand firm,
recall it to mind, you transgressors,
remember the former things of old;
for I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me,
declaring the end from the beginning
and from ancient times things not yet done,
saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,
and I will accomplish all my purpose,’
calling a bird of prey from the east,
the man of my counsel from a far country.
I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass;
I have purposed, and I will do it.”

It came in a brown lunch bag with “To: Ms. Morrison (written neatly) From: Jake (scrawled in little boy’s handwriting)” on it. Is this it? Am I official?

I guess the big red apple I got on the first day of my school practicum proves it.

See, these kids don’t know that I’m just a student, too. They don’t know that I’m a novice, that I don’t really know what I’m doing, that I’m actually little intimidated by the whole thing.

Yeah, to little Jake and his nearly 30 classmates in our combined K-4/Speech-Language classroom, I’m just Miss Morrison.

One of their teachers.

Onward.

James 1: 2-4  “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Count it all joy when you can’t find your keys and you’re late for the bus. Count it all joy when your paycheck isn’t cut because someone in payroll misfiled your timecard. Count it all joy when you feel out of place. Count it all joy when you are unbearably homesick. Count it all joy when you stub your toe. Count it all joy when you’re reviled for sharing the gospel. Count it all joy when your computer crashes. Count it all joy when you miss someone. Count it all joy when you’ve studied diligently and you still get a C (or D) on the test. Count it all joy when you’re stuck in traffic. Count it all joy when your friends just don’t “get it”. Count it all joy when you show up but your luggage doesn’t. Count it all joy when your teacher is spouting off humanistic nonsense. Count it all joy when your expectations aren’t met, when your hopes are dashed, your dreams are unfulfilled.

Count it all joy because you know the end of the story.

Rugby is the sport of choice for the men in my family, so what do you do when you move back to the States, and everyone is talking football and playing football?

You have to learn to make do.

My brother Daniel did just that – he’s started playing linebacker on his middle school football team, and when an opportunity arose during their game on Saturday, he seized it. According to my mom, who called me excitedly from the game, there’d just been a fumble. Daniel scooped up the pigskin and ran it in 60 yards for the score, with my family screaming encouragement as he sprinted down the sideline.

Way to go, buddy – not bad for the kid from Africa.

Onward.

Psalm 103:1-5

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

I think my favorite part of this passage is “redeems your life from the pit”. May I never forget how huge a pit I’ve been saved from, and all the little pits he saves me from day by day. Indeed, bless the Lord, O my soul.

This is how far the world has come: you can buy rattlesnake meat on Amazon.com. Or you could at one point – unfortunately for all those of you who find yourself wishing for something other than beef and chicken and pork and giraffe and frog legs, it is listed as “currently unavailable”.

Here’s the link: http://www.amazon.com/Rattlesnake-meat-Medium-2-5-pack/dp/B000NNKJRS/ref=pd_ts_gf_1/002-3135675-2443208?ie=UTF8&s=gourmet-food

And here’s what they say about it: “Rattlesnake is light and chewy,with a delicate flavor that resembles chicken.” (That must be true. After all, what doesn’t resemble chicken these days?)

Onward.

This hymn by Civilla D. Martin is a beautiful portrait of a believer’s identification and acceptance “in the Beloved”. Wow – it’s a beautiful truth.

“In the Beloved” accepted am I,
Risen, ascended, and seated on high;
Saved from all sin thro’ His infinite grace,
With the redeemed ones accorded a place.

Refrain

“In the Beloved,” God’s marvelous grace
Calls me to dwell in this wonderful place;
God sees my Savior, and then He sees me,
“In the Beloved,” accepted and free.

“In the Beloved”— how safe my retreat,
In the Beloved accounted complete;
“Who can condemn me?” In Him I am free,
Savior and Keeper forever is He.

Refrain

“In the Beloved” I went to the tree,
There, in His Person, by faith I may see
Infinite wrath rolling over His head,
Infinite grace, for He died in my stead.

Refrain

I wrote a post a little while back on the naming of vehicles, specifically about my enjoyment of the practice in Kenya. Who would have guessed I would have seen a van here in downtown Milwaukee that would make me chuckle just as much?

It was one of those medical transit vehicles and was called “Divine and Able Transport”

Now, we have two possibilities here -maybe their service is so good, they feel free to call themselves absolutely Divine and, yes, also Able to Transport you . . . or maybe they just misheard /misinterpreted /misquoted the saying “divine enablement”. You decide (though I personally am leaning toward the latter explanation – and splitting my infinitives in the process).

Onward.

Speaking of divine enablement:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Another splendid definition from Terminology of Communication Disorders, Fifth Edition. And I quote:

“burp Belch”

Does it get any better than that?

Onward.

Isaiah 26:3-4 

You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

When our mind is stayed, fixed, on the everlasting rock, how could there not be perfect peace? 

Metacognition: ability to reflect on thinking in general, i.e. thinking about thinking. (Terminology of Communication Disorders, Fifth Edition).

To illustrate, consider the following conversation:

You (noticing me sitting outside on a bench, looking very pensive): Whatcha thinking about?

Me (startled from the depth of my metacognizing): Oh, you know, I’m thinking about thinking. I’ve never really thought before, but now that I think on it, I think I’m gonna start this whole thinking thing really soon. I mean, think about having actual thoughts! That’s gotta be cool.

Oh, yeah – this metacognition stuff is serious mind-bending fun.

Thus began my brother Noah’s fictional story of a boy moving to Kenya – I beleive there were 4 “trapters”. He wrote it a while ago, in early elementary school, and it is a story that has become an integral part of our familial dialect -we still use his phrase “jet-legged and eggsalsted” whenever we are really tired. It just seems to fit.

As a supposed linguist/soon-to-be SLP/wanna-be orthographer, I find his spelling both endearing and very logical: “trapter” for “chapter”, “eggsalsted” for “exhausted”. Hey, they really make sense.

If only all our English spelling was that easy. And whose idea was it to spell it P-H-O-N-I-C-S, anyway? We aren’t really Greek anymore . . . are we?

Onward.

I’ve heard people say that there is no God, but if there is, he must be unimaginably cruel – an assumption based on all the heartache aned evil in the world. As I read through Isaiah, though, I see the exact opposite; I see a God who is righteous in his judgment of man’s sin, who is just in destroying the wicked, but who is gracious beyond measure. For after the judging, comes this:

Isaiah 25:8-9 “He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken. It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”

He is not unimaginably cruel. He is unimaginably kind.

We are smack dab in the middle of a very soggy week here in Milwaukee. Feels a little like a rainy season migrated from Kenya over to here. 

And honestly, the rain doesn’t bother me. I’m not gloomy. It’s actually been very nice and cool, if a little dark. I guess I think back to times when the rainy season in Kenya didn’t come and the earth cracked and crops died. Rain is a blessing.

I miss the rains down in Africa.

Onward.

Ephesians 5:8 “for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.”

Even when the sun ain’t shining!

Today my sister started college. Well, orientation. Actually, she’s going to be going on a pre-orientation backpacking trip starting tomorrow. Sounds like something she’d do.

I called her this morning, thinking I’d leave a message on her voicemail while she was on the plane flying from Philly to Columbus, but I actually caught her at baggage claim, which was a pleasant surprise.

“Did you think I’d be going to college at the same time as you?” she asked.

No, I did not. If you had told me 8 years ago that I’d be living in Wisconsin with a year of graduate school left, I might not have believed you. That wasn’t in my plans. Silly me.

Proverbs 16:9 “The mind of a man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.”

I wonder where Em will be in 8 years. She’s at the beginning of this adventure, and I’m excited to see where the Lord directs her. 

Before I hung up this morning, I remembered getting off my first domestic flight and somewhat confusedly looking around for the customs and immigration sign. I almost told Emily that there were no customs, but then I stopped. She’s smart. She knows. And if she doesn’t, she’ll figure it out.

She’s a grown-up now.

One of the strangest things we humans do is name our vehicles. I know several people who have named their cars. Bessie. The Silver Bullet. Ye Olde Bucket of Bolts. You know how it is.

When I was younger we had two cars; two station wagons to be precise. And we named them. Woody was a boat of an Oldsmobile and had that good ol’ wood paneling, while The Pup was a little maroon Chevy wagon. It sure cleared up any confusion regarding which car we’d be using.

Dad would say, “Get in The Pup,” and we would. I kinda miss The Pup. But that’s beside the point.

The point is, some people (or places) have this vehicle-naming thing down to a science (an art?).

Take Kenya. There, they not only name the vans (“matatus”) used for public transportation, they also proudly splash the names in bright colors on the sides, the front, or the back. My sister kept track, bringing a list of the best back with her.

Among my favorites:

“Flossy the Biomagnetic Force” (I think this is at the top of my list)

“Princess Daina [sic]”

“Tolerance of Women” (not to be confused with another, “Tolerance of Ladies”)

Onward.

Weddings have been on my mind quite a bit lately. My cousin got married this month. Two close friends of mine got married last weekend, and two more close friends are getting married in 8 days. I love weddings. Especially weddings between believers who are walking by faith and growing in the Lord. 

Pastor preached on “The Greatest Wedding Ever” last night. That marriage ceremony will take place between Christ and his bride – us. The church. Revelation 19 is an awesome picture in the truest sense of that word. Here’s part of it:

Revelation 19:6-8 “And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying, Alleluia: for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth. Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.”

What do I say to that? Only that it is incomprehensibly wonderful. What a glorious, gracious God we have!

I realized today how comfortable I am. It hit me when we were having a goodbye party for a departing co-worker.

I thought, “That’s gonna be me in 9 months.”

I’ve lived in the same little apartment for 2 years. Worked at the same place for 2 years. Gone to class and clinic in the same building for 2 years. I’ve reached a really nice point in my life, a nice routine of work, school, relaxation.

And then suddenly, today at about 12:25 pm while I was standing upstairs in the “goodbye gathering”, my mind switched into transition mode. It was as if I saw a bright orange sign flashing “Big Changes Ahead”. Not that I haven’t already thought about graduation, moving, finding a “real” job, or any of the other challenges coming my way, but today it really started to sink in.

In some ways, I’m going back at square one, where I was two years ago, getting ready to move, clueless about where I’d find a job, clueless about what this whole grad school thing was all about.

In some ways, I’d like to stay in this comfort zone. I can’t. Time is pushing on ahead, and the Lord is taking me further into this adventure that is life by faith in him. And like any adventure, it isn’t always easy. But it’s his best for me.

I’ll take that over “comfortable” any day.