Made for Eternity

Day 63

When I saw her face on the front page today, she caught my heart. The first thing I thought was, She could’ve been one of my kids – one of those dear little rascals I taught letters and sounds to last semester.

But she wasn’t one of “mine”. This 4-year-old in a pink tank top who smiled micheveously up at me from the newspaper was the one who was jumping rope outside her house on Monday night. She was the one was who was killed in a drive-by shooting by a “gutless thug” (as Mayor Barrett called him) who only shot his intended target in the leg.

I can’t help but wonder if that little girl was saved – had anyone shared the gospel with her? Was she even at the age of accountability so that she could understand and respond by simple childlike faith to the news of Christ’s death for her and ressurrection?

These questions, along with many others, will go unanswered. People will try to answer the whys and the whats. They will talk of too many tragedies, of gang problems or gun problems, of changes that need to be made in crime-ridden areas of the city. They will come up with solutions – more police patrols, more legislation, more cracking down. But they won’t come up with a solution for man’s heart of darkness.

And what has saddened me today is, they won’t come up with a solution for Jasmine.

Day 64

As per the American Heritage Dictionary:

jar•gon n. The specialized or technical language of a trade, profession, or similar group.

Yesterday’s entry got me to thinking about what is commonly referred to as “lingo”. For the most part, we are all speakers of the same language. We can communicate; we understand each other. Then you get into a car with two engineering students for the ride to church, and though you believe they are speaking English, they may as well be chatting in Urdu for all you can understand of their conversation.

Of course it goes both ways. We all have a “second language” within our professions and special interests. I discuss things with my SLP pals that are completely incomprehensible to my engineering friends. (I know – I’ve tried explaining certain aspects of the field to them at times – with mixed results.) 

Sports are also notoriously jargon-y. Take baseball, for instance. If you are a novice wanting to learn the game, you probably shouldn’t do so just by listening to it on the radio. It’s been around for about 160 years, and is full of baffling lingo that broadcasters use liberally. “Full house”? “Sacks are jammed”? “Back-to-back jacks”? ” “4-6-3”? “Texas leaguer”? “Double switch”? At least have someone there to explain. Or get a book.

The whole jargon thing becomes most problematic when something like the following situation arises: a hilarious event occurs in your morphology class (That’s the study of word formation – and believe it or not, funny things did happen.) so you try to tell your non-linguistics friends, certain they’ll share your enjoyment. You’re rolling on the floor. They don’t get it. Therefore, they don’t laugh.

Kind of anti-climactic when you waited all afternoon to share the joke.

Onward.

Psalm 138:8 The LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

As I alluded to in the previous entry, I sort of hit a road block yesterday. Smooth sailing, then WHAM. Time to rearrange my focus, to ask some questions:

Does the Lord know about this? Yes. Did he see it coming? Of course. Is the Lord the Lord over this situation? Oh, yes. Will he accomplish what concerns me? Yes. Is his lovingkindness truly everlasting? Yes. Will he forsake this child, this work of his hands?

No. Never.

So I rested.

Day 65 

There’s not a more fun way to write words than by using International Phonetic Alphabet.

I realize that, having written the above statement, I just lost half my readership for today’s entry. (Thank you to the 2.5 of you who are still bearing with me.) But I’m serious. What other alphabet can be used to write any language in the world? Not a one. The good ol’ IPA has a symbol for every sound humans produce in our thousands of languages. From glottal stops (the little catch you feel in your throat when you are in the middle of “uh-uh”, as in “no”) to nasals (think “m” “n” and “ng”) to alveolar stops (“t” and “d”) to non-English sounds like clicks and trills and pharyngeal fricatives. Oh, and all the vowels, too.

Check it out here: http://www.omniglot.com/writing/ipa.htm 

And if you ever get the chance, take a phonetics course. It is seriously fun – you sit around making odd noises and attempting to correctly pronounce words that look like, using our alphabet, “mahmoofeeseeheekah”. But not exactly like that, because unfortunately I don’t have IPA script on my computer. Bummer.

Onward.

Ever been expecting something big to happen, and then all the circumstances go in the completely opposite direction? Yeah, me too. It sure takes the wind out of your sails, throws you for a loop, knocks you down, and all the other metaphors we use for disappointment.

It’s times like these I need the Shepherd. He knows.

Where He leads me I must follow
Without Him I’d lose my way
I will see a bright tomorrow
If I follow Him today

Like a lamb who needs the Shepherd
At His side I choose to stay                                                                                                                                                           Through the night His strength I’ll borrow
Then I’ll see another day

Life is like a winding pathway
Who can tell what lies ahead?
Will it lead to shady pastures,
Or to wilderness instead?

Like a lamb who needs the Shepherd
When into the night I go
Help me find the path that’s narrow
While I travel here below

Though you walk through darkest valleys
And the sky is cold and gray
Though you climb the steepest mountains
He will never let you stray

Like a lamb who needs the Shepherd
By your side He’ll always stay
‘Til the end of life’s long journey
He will lead you all the way.

– R. Carmichael

Day 66

Around the blogosphere today, millions of people are writing about their moms. It’s Mother’s Day after all, so it is The Thing To Do.

Resistance is futile. I’m joining the masses. ‘Cause whatever any of you think, I, along with my five siblings, have the bestest mom in the world. Indubitably.

Nine or so Septembers ago, I had to have an operation done in Philadelphia, so the day before the surgery, my parents and I headed into the city where we would spend the night at a hotel. My dad dropped my mom and me off and headed somewhere to do some business of some kind. It was a beautiful late summer day, and “we girls” set off exploring the downtown area. This was before I became city-fied by Chicago and Milwaukee, so the energy and bustle were quite the experience for me.

My mom was born and raised in the area, and went to school in Philadelphia, so it was fun for her on a different level. Maybe that’s why she was willing to sing “Old Man River” on a karaoke machine on a side street. It was part of a promotion for the musical that song was in, and she really managed to ham it up. (This was made easier, I’m sure, by the fact that she didn’t know “Old Man River”.) As a typical teenager, I wavered between laughing at the dissonant echoing of her voice on the brick buildings and wanting to melt into a puddle from embarrassment.

A little bit after the karaoke adventure we wandered into a bookstore, which is a very dangerous place for Morrisons. We tend to get a little stuck. Surround us with thousands of books and it’s good luck to anyone trying to pry our eyes away. That day was a little different, because that day, we saw The Dictionary. As in Mr. Webster’s Unabridged. 25 pounds or so of words, words, words, all defined to the nth degree. Truly a thing of beauty. And what’s this? It’s on sale? For $10? What a bargain! So we bought it, of course not taking fully into account the fact that we would be lugging our well-defined words around with us for the remainder of the afternoon.

It actually wasn’t all that bad, and the day made for some fun memories with my mom. I can still see her half-laughing/half-singing that goofy song into the microphone, her eyes shining with the fun of it. It was the same sparkle I saw later when we found the dictionary and she said to me, “Should we get it? Let’s get it!”

In the scope of my life, those were two very small events, but they have been ingrained in the “special times” area in my memory. Maybe it was because of the big-city atmosphere, the warm sunny day, the impulsivity, the carefreeness.

But mostly, I think it was because I did it with Mom.

Day 67

Is there anything odder in our experience than dreams? When I was little I kept having these awful nightmares about someone close to me getting struck by lightning as we were walking down the street. (That’s not actually a warning to anyone to stay away from me during a thunderstorm, by the way.)

These days, the dream that comes back over and over is far less sinister, but disconcerting nonetheless. In this dream, I discover at the end of a semester that I’ve forgotten to go to a class I registered for. Or I forget to show up for the final. Either way, I flunk the course and must retake it, effectively decimating both my GPA and bank account in one fell swoop.

I think the anxiety regarding forgetting a class started when I was taking online courses. There were times when I would go for a week or so before suddenly remembering I was taking a course on the Internet. There’d be this panicked scramble to see if I’d missed any assignments, or, horror of horrors, an actual test due date. No great damage was done by my temporary neglect, and I did manage to pass all 3 classes.

Despite this, the terrible idea of forgetting a course is still there, somewhere in the deep recesses of my hippocampus. (Or whichever part of the brain controls memory. I can’t remember.) Wish it would leave me alone to enjoy summer. . .

Onward.

John 7:43 “So there was a division among the people over him.”

Tomorrow I am subbing for a Sunday School teacher who is going through the book of John with the 6-12 year olds. The study guide I’m using points out the above verse as the key verse for the chapter.

It got me to thinking – when it comes to Jesus, there’ll always be a division. He is the dividing line in the sand. You mention Jesus, and people will either side with you or they’ll be dead set against you.

He is the Truth, and there can be no wishy-washiness with that.

Day 68

Yesterday was a Good Day, circumstantially. I finished my second year of grad school. The weather was lovely, making my strolls around campus enjoyable. In the morning, I had fun IMing with Pete in Sudan and Emily in Kenya at the same time. I unexpectedly received two great tickets to a Brewers game. Even the cashier at Walgreens was extra nice.

And it all wrapped up with dinner in a pizza parlor with my friend Caroline. Over spinach whole-wheat thin crust pizza and a rich chocolate cake, we talked girl talk and read verse by verse through the book of Colossians, discussing this thought or that idea along the way, marveling at the supremacy of Christ and the riches of God. It was one of those times of sweet fellowship that make you wonder, “If it’s this great here on earth, I can’t even begin to imagine how awesome heaven will be.”

Not all days have such good circumstances. Sometimes the things that happen in a day are extra crummy. But the God who is God over the Good Days is also the God who is over the Bad Days, and I take great comfort in that.

He never changes.

Day 69

Must’ve been  the exams. Must’ve been. Yesterday was my brother’s birthday, and though I was cognizant of the fact that he turned 28 (and I did remember to call him), I completely forgot to write a blog entry for him, as has been my tradition for other Special People. Reminds me of the time we forgot Mother’s Day. Mom remembered, of course, but the rest of us. . .well, let’s not go there.

So, Luke. Or Luka, as I call him (the Swahili name just stuck). He’s my big brother, the only big brother I got. And we are about as different as two siblings can be. He’s laid back and easy going – one of those go with the flow types. I’m not. He’s a person of few words. I’m not. (This can be unfortunate at times.)

When we were younger, our differences seemed to outweight our similarities. Now it’s the other way around. We’ve gained a lot of respect for each other. Two of the things that bring us together are my broken computers (yeah, plural) and our love for Philly sports teams . . .

Luke is a whiz with computers. There have been several times I have been on the phone with him trying to figure out weird error messages and whether or not I should just dump the thing. He is kind and very patient with my ignorance. And one time he even bought a broken computer off me, fixed it up, and kept using it. Quite the impressive feat.

Both of us are big Phillies and Eagles fans – when the Eagles made it to the Super Bowl a couple years back, it was Luka I called first. I was surrounded by rabid Packer fans eager for the Eagles’ demise, so it was great to have an ally, even several hundred miles away. One time when I was unable to watch a playoff game, he text-messaged me the score every little while. It’s fun to be able to share that with him. Now if only I can get him to come out to Wisconsin so we can go cheer on the Brew Crew at Miller Park. Hint hint.

Until then, Luka (or more likely, until July), happy belated birthday. Thanks for you kindness to me, your generosity, and your encouragement. I love you!

Day 70

Well, faithful reader, the battle is almost over. I’ve taken 3 finals, leaving a single one still hovering overhead like a cloud threatening to rain on this march toward the finish line.

I’ve learned one thing thus far this week – no matter how long or how hard you study for your neuromuscular disorders cumulative exam, if you fail to study the right thing, you will inevitably turn to a page on the test and find yourself face to face with 9 or so questions about your external innercostals and your diaphragm and your thoracic vertebrae and which aspect of respiration will be affected based on this or that level of injury to the spinal cord. Also inevitably, these are questions for which you have no clue what the answer might be. And suddenly, your best “educated guess” begins to resemble a sophisticated version of “eeeny-meenie-minie-moe”.

Yep, that’s pretty much what I’ve learned. But the haze is clearing, there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

So, onward.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I shared this verse a while ago, but it fits me this week. The Lord’s rest is so perfect, so completely suited to our needs, felt and unfelt.

Day 71

Sometime between yesterday and today, we hit the halfway point in the countdown. It’s not exact because I started this blog on an odd number. So actually, we are over halfway there – hooray!

Also, by approximately 7 PM tonight, I’ll be halfway done with finals – double hooray!

And the white blossoms up top are what those snow-covered trees of 11 April look like now. They are the essence of newness and sweet scents. I just love spring.

Onward.

1 Peter 5:6-7 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

Day 72

“There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person.” – G.K. Chesterson

And with that quote that Em sent me, I’m off to continue to study a very interesting subject; in essence, motor speech disorders.

Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden upon the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never allow the righteous to be shaken.”

Day 73

Since my life these days seems to revolve around the joys of neuroscience, I can’t think of anything else to write about.  So here are some little tidbits for my readers:

You have 12 cranial nerves, which are apparently very crucial. Without them, you wouldn’t be able to see, smell, hear, taste, chew, swallow, sneeze, gag, smile, etc, etc, etc. Important functions, no?

3 of these nerves have a main function of controlling eye movements.

3 nerves are involved in taste – one takes care of the front 2/3 of the tongue, one the back 1/3, and one the throat. Yes, your throat can taste. (If you’ve ever swallowed a chloroquine pill the wrong way, you KNOW your throat can taste).

There ya go. And here I go to try to ingrain these facts into my brain. But before I do, I’m needing this right now:

Isaiah 40:28-31 “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. ²⁹ He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power. ³⁰ Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, ³¹ Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.”

Day 74

Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men . . .You are serving the Lord Christ.”

This is my theme verse for finals week. Even my studying should be to God’s glory.

Day 75

1 cent. That’s all it is, so I guess a lot of people don’t see the point of bending over and risking scraping your fingernails on the concrete for 1/100 of a dollar. For some reason, though, I do. I collect the pennies that have fallen through the cracks on the sidewalk, on the floor next to the checkout at Jimmy John’s, in the crosswalk at the corner of 16th and Wisconsin (though I won’t be risking my life if the “Don’t Walk” sign is flashing and I can’t get the penny on the first swipe).

I remember finding pennies when I was little and what great treasures they were. “Look, look! I found a penny!” Now I pick them up more out of habit – and because I can’t stand to see money, no matter how small the denomination, just lying on the ground. I have quite the collection back at my apartment – maybe someday I’ll take it to the bank.

But for right now, I’m content with just picking up the pennies.

Onward.

Life’s not fair, that’s true. We all know it. But do you really want fair? Do you really want what you deserve? The Bible says we as sinners deserve to go to hell. That’s what’s fair.

When the age of grace we are living in has ended and God judges this sinful world, it will be completely fair. It will be completely just, it will be completely righteous. It will be what sinners deserve.

Revelation 16:5-7 And I heard the angel of the waters saying, “Righteous are You, who are and who were, O Holy One, because You judged these things; ⁶ for they poured out the blood of saints and prophets, and You have given them blood to drink. They deserve it.” ⁷ And I heard the altar saying, “Yes, O Lord God, the Almighty, true and righteous are Your judgments.”

Indeed, this life we live right now is not fair. Thank God.

Day 76

Today’s “Non Sequitur” cartoon:

Onward.

Colossians 2:13 “And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.”

Thanks, Ian, for sharing this verse last night. I am amazed by the certainty and finality of the verses – I was dead, now I am alive with Christ. My sins are forgiven, my debt is canceled, nailed to the cross.

It’s wonderful to walk through life relaxed, resting in such wonderful absolutes. There’s tremendous assurance in these truths.

Day 77

Last night as I was walking home from class, I passed a couple of the MU basketball stars on the sidewalk. These are the guys, who barring major injury or disaster, will make it to the NBA someday (and for one of them, possibly this fall). They may become stars there, too, or at the very least, solid players. Here at Marquette, they are the celebrities – people want to be near them, to know them, to be known by them.

It’s kind of weird (or not-so-weird), but I felt this fleeting need to talk to them, shake their hands, maybe ask for an autograph. After all, these are Important People, so if I’ve talked to them, I must be important by association. I can drop names, tell people I met so-and-so. My friends may be impressed. We are impressed by those to whom we assign this artificial importance – whole industries have cropped up to broadcast the minutae of the lives of celebrities. Indeed, they must be Important People.

However as I continued home in the twilight, I had to do some mental rearrangements, mainly dealing with that prickly sneak-up-on-you issue of idolatry.

I’m not denying that many people are very gifted – they may be athletic, beautiful, intelligent, charismatic, or amazing actors or musicians. It’s not wrong to appreciate and enjoy the talents of others. I do it every time I watch a baseball game or listen to the 5 Browns. Yet in reality, these people are not any better or any more important than I – an ordinary girl living an ordinary life – am. 

They are sinners in need of a Savior just as much as I am. Christ died for their sins, just as he died for mine. When they stand before God, it won’t matter how brilliantly they played the violin or portrayed a character in a movie or how many NBA championship rings they earned. Just as it is with me, all that will matter is who they trusted for eternal life – their works, or the One who finished the work.

And the fact that they were Important People here on earth will just go up in smoke.

Day 78

I find it irritating when the weather website posts the forecast of “100% chance of rain”. That’s not a chance! That’s a definite! If you want to put chance into the equation, make it a 99%  chance of rain. Hey, you can even make it a 99.999999999 % chance of rain. That means there’s still a .000000001% chance it won’t rain.

Just don’t talk about certainty and chance all at the same time. Please. It’s oxymoronic. Instead of this “100% chance” stuff, a simple “It’s absolutely-positively-no-doubt-about-it going to rain today” will do.

Reminds me of what the Lord promised me when I trusted Christ alone for my salvation: “You absolutely-positively-no-doubt-about-it have eternal life.”

John 10: 28-29 “I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. ”

John 5:24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.”

Eternal security – there’s no chance in that!

Day 79

My little . . .ahem, my younger . . . brother made varsity rugby. He’s a sophomore and was expecting JV, so of course he’s absolutely thrilled. I’m just trying to reconcile in my mind the image of him three years ago as a junior higher with this new idea.

A while ago when we talked on the phone, he mentioned that he was looking forward to playing one-on-one basketball with me this summer. I beat him the last time we played . . .  four years ago . . . when I was still several inches taller than him . . . when I could actually block his shots. . .

So yeah. Now I think I’m going to get seriously shmushed. By my varsity rugby player younger brother.

Congratulations Noah! Go Buffs!

Onward.

An excerpt from something I wrote for a family newsletter: 

       The Lord did something recently that was exciting for me. Next semester, my one class is on Wednesday evening. It has been that way since time immemorial – Child Language Issues is on Wednesday evening. I have seen it on the roster since I arrived at Marquette and always sort of sighed over the fact, because we have Bible study at church on Wednesday evenings, and that’s a top priority for me. I sort of resigned myself to Wednesday nights without church, and didn’t really pray about it – it seemed to be one of those immoveable rock type things that I would just have to endure. Then last week, I got an email from my professor saying that she had a conflict Wednesday and would anyone mind moving the class to Mondays? I just sat there and laughed a little. It was definitely God teaching me a lesson: go ahead and pray for that “impossible” thing. He’s God – he can do anything. Even move a class to Monday nights so I can go to hear the Word.

Day 80

Say you were born with a 30% unilateral (one-sided) hearing loss  . . . would it really be a loss if you never had it to begin with? Or is the term “loss” used in relation to the hearing acuity of normal persons? Would a better term be “hearing deficit”?

Such are the deep philosophical questions that haunt the speech path graduate student nearing the end of the semester.

Onward.

“God never made a promise that was too good to be true.” -D.L. Moody 

We live in a time where incredulity reigns and “there’s no such thing as a free lunch”. So when one hears that God has promised a salvation that is entirely free to anyone who trusts in Jesus Christ’s death in their place and his resurrection, it sounds way too good to be true.

But all God’s promises are true, as true as himself. Jesus, who is God,  proclaimed that he is The Truth. You can’t get any truer than that, so why not trust this wonderfully good, but not-too-good-to-be true promise today?

Day 81 

As someone who is very interested in the speech/vocal apparatuses (apparati?), imagine my surprise when I discovered that giraffes don’t have vocal cords. Well, at least they won’t be getting vocal nodules. Or polyps. Or contact ulcers.

See what you can learn from drinking Snapple?

(Also, goldfish have a 3 second attention span. And here I thought my 4 year old clients had concentration issues . . .) 

Onward.

Psalm 136:23 “Who remembered us in our low estate, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.”

This morning I read Psalm 136, and this verse jumped out at me. The psalmist is referring to Israel, but the principle still applies: who among us is not one of “low estate”? Yet the everlasting, ever-loving One has remembered us.

Thank you, Lord.

Day 82

1. A baby falling asleep in your arms

2. A bowl of chocolate mousse

3. Rain on a tin roof

4. The smell of fresh-cut grass

5. Laughing on the phone with a friend

6. Walking out of your last final

7. Goofy Hallmark cards

8. Going grocery shopping with coupons

9. Extra innings (but only if your team comes out on top)

10. Cardboard sledding on a grassy hill

11. Fixing a tough paper jam

12. Sleeping in when you are really tired

Anything you want to add?

Onward.

Spiritual Vitamins for Believers, Part Last:

1. I will have power over the nations (Rev. 2:26; 5:10).
2. I will not have my name blotted out of the book of life (Rev. 3:5).
3. I will be a pillar in God’s temple (Rev. 3:12).
4. I will sit with Christ in His throne (Rev. 3:21).
5. I will be with my God forever (Rev. 21:3-4).