“It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.” Psalm 119:71
My favorite miracle in the Bible is where Jesus heals the man with the withered hand. It’s a story that’s found in Matthew, Mark, and Luke, and almost every time I read it, I get a little chill. That’s because I can see in my mind this man stretching out his shriveled up, paralyzed right hand and “wham!” – It’s as whole as his left hand. What awe and joy he must have felt! I find myself stretching out my arm, just imagining . . . just . . . imagining.
I once heard a speaker describe trials, and she stated that there are two different kinds, those that are devastating, and those that cause inconvenience. A withered hand is an inconvenience. I know because I have one. I was born with mild cerebral palsy, resulting in weakness and minor paralysis on my left side. I walk with a limp, I have terrible balance (ask my roommate who likes to watch me tip over at the slightest bump), but the most obvious feature of my CP is my weak little “goofy part”, aka my left hand. It doesn’t do most of what I want it to do, and sometimes it gets in the way.
When I was small, I would ask my mom why I was the way I was. “Why didn’t God make me normal?” I’d say after a frustrating day when I couldn’t climb the monkey bars, or a particularly painful physical therapy session. Now I kind of wonder why it wasn’t worse; why my brain injury is an inconvenience for me, but not devastating. I’ve come to recognize that God’s finger didn’t slip when he “knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13).
I believe he allowed oxygen flow to be obstructed from my developing brain (in part, at least) so that I would carry in my body the constant lifelong reminder that I am not sufficient to handle my problems. Before I was born, God knew me. He knew my personality, he knew my sinful tendencies, he knew how super-independent and self-confident I can get. So in his divine wisdom and grace, he afflicted me.
It is a gentle affliction in the grand scheme of things. I lead a nearly perfectly normal life. I work, play touch football, drive, tie my shoes. I am not bound to a wheelchair or a bed. I am not in pain. In a world full of those who suffer far worse, I know I am blessed.
As Paul was given a thorn in the flesh, and Jacob’s hip was touched by God so that he limped for the rest of his life, so my Father nudges me through my physical weakness, reminding me of my need to rely on him. I shudder to think what my life would be like without my disability. Good grief, I’m prideful and self-reliant enough as it is; what would I be with a more normal body? God knows. And if a healthy, whole brain would have brought him more glory in my life, I no doubt would have had one. But he decided a weaker body would be best.
And that’s why, after thirty-one years of living with this gentle affliction, I can echo the Psalmist in all truthfulness, “It is good“.
2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
Made for Eternity 
These are beautiful thoughts. Thanks so much for sharing what the Lord has been teaching you. He is good and His plan is perfect for each of us.
Blessings,
Carrie
Good thoughts, Katie. Thanks for sharing!
Dear Katie,
What a beautiful post. While it is true we all have degrees of difficulties, some are more obvious than others. This was a challenging and gentle reminder that all things that go on in our lives, believers lives, goes through the Master’s hand and His strength is ours for the asking. What a blessing He has used you to be for many, us included. Thanks again for sharing this.. Love, Aunt di
Katie dear,
How your blog touched my heart! Sometimes, it is hard to accept things, but is true that He does all things well and for a purpose. Love, Grandma M.
dearest Katie… your mild affliction was a struggle for me in my own way… while you were a baby, it became apparent that you did have a “withered hand.” when I read that passage in Scripture, it is special to me because I’m your mom! I delight in how God brought truth into your life that shed a new light on this inconvenience. May that always bring you comfort and encouragement.